If i come over, it means nothing
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
