I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize