Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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