Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
