So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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