none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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