Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
