you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
