I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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