hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
