she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
