How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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