we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
