i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
