Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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