peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
