glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
