The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
