I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize