Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize