is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
