we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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