His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
