She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
