Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
