I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize