didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wear drunk well.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
