I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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