i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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