hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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