I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize