In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
