i already hear my dad disowning me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
