WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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