Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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