New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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