I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love having hate sex.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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