We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
