i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
