bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
