if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
