i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
