if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
