Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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