Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize