No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
