You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
