I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
