who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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