Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize