Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
