It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
