Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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