My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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