my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
