I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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