But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I AM VODKA MAN
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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