If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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