is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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