Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
