It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize