my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
