PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
