yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
