My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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