My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
