You're so nebulous sometimes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
