did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
