You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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