can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
