wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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