i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
